Not Your Mother's Sex Talk: How to Talk to Teens About Sex, Without Talking About Sex

The STARS Talk© is a framework that helps one to have meaningful and intimate, consent-based discussions that are vital for healthy relationships.

STARS is a simple acronym that helps begin a conversation, leading to beautiful, consensual connection.

It stands for:

S: Sexual Health + STI Status

T: Turn-Ons 

A: Avoids 

R: Relationship Intentions + Expectations 

S: Safety + Safer Sex Etiquette

Individually, these subjects can be challenging to bring up out of the blue. It can be hard to determine when is the right time. So, in turn, we often keep them to ourselves, or seemingly out of nowhere unload our needs as we blurt something out, non-intentionally and non-consensually.

Whether you’re looking for a one night stand, a long term monogamous commitment, or anything between or around, by using STARS, you have the opportunity to intentionally and consensually communicate to create a safe space with someone.

So remember, take a deep breath, communicate from a place of your truth, take that leap of faith for connection, and “Make Time For The Talk”!

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On Thursday, May 18th, 2023, at 6:00PM PDT, we will be hosting “Not Your Mother’s Sex Talk: How to Talk to Teens About Sex, Without Talking About Sex”!

This will be a 90 minute class featuring our most favorite consent framework and conversation, The STARS Talk©!

In “Not Your Mother’s Sex Talk”, our intention is to teach what’s outside of the conventional classroom’s options of “comprehensive sex education” or “abstinence-only”. We will be using the STARS framework to navigate these teaching styles, as well as what we aren’t taught in school, like conversations around desires, needs, boundaries, and pleasure.

All of us deserve to have education around better understanding ourselves and our current and potential future partners, especially our teenagers, as they begin to navigate their first romantic and sexual experiences.

This class in particular is geared towards parents and educators, but is absolutely welcome to the public as well!

We will be providing a FREE copy of The STARS Talk© Workbook, and worksheets to guide you through each letter of STARS.

Nothing makes this life easier than a deeper understanding of ourselves, of others, and the practice it takes to ease those conversations into our lives.

This class is not only a great way to learn about a safer sex talk, but a fun way to meet other like minded people.

Create a Safer Relationship Container with the safer sex STARS Talk©!

Sign up for our newsletter at MakeTimeForTheTalk.com to receive updates on our future offerings, events, and workshops, AND early access to The STARS Talk© Workbook!

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When the creator of the STARS Talk©, Dr. Evalene Molina Dacker (@SexMedDoc on Instagram and Tiktok) birthed the concept of STARS, it was for her. It was for her patients, and for her kids.

She first heard a similar concept from Allison Moon and Reid Mihalko, who called it the “safer sex elevator speech”: the concept of being able to briefly express your sexual desires, needs, and boundaries, namely around safer sex and STI disclosure, quick enough for it to happen on an elevator ride. Evalene found it fascinating because it was something she had never considered as an option up until that point.

Since that time, Evalene has delved into understanding and learning more about sexuality, relationships, communication and consent.

She’s taken elements from the safer sex elevator speech, mixed it with a good dose of Tantra-based intention setting, kink-based conversations surrounding understanding limits and acknowledging risks, and combined them all into a simple acronym that builds the framework that helps one to have meaningful and intimate, consent-based discussions that are vital for healthy sex, intimacy, and relationships.

The STARS Talk© is not simply just for Evalene, her patients, and her children any longer. It is really for all people who feel called to engage in this type of connection. It is available for you, for your children, for your friends and partners, and for anyone who wants to embody their desires, needs, and boundaries and create a beautiful container of love.

STARS encourages self awareness, creates open communication from the beginning, has the harm-reduction potential of reducing consent violations and trauma, and sets the stage of opportunity to be able to transform our culture towards sex-positivity.

The STARS Talk© has been taught to quite a decently sized group of people so far, and we are excited to continue to share it with more of the world.

To learn more about STARS, feel free to visit our website MakeTimeForTheTalk.com

and our Instagram and Tiktok @MakeTimeForTheTalk

We recognize the absolute privilege it is to experience access to this degree of communication education in our current world. In order to maintain equitable accessibility for our current and future publications, events, workshops, and retreats, our ticketing is based on a sliding-scale, pay-what-you-can, and pay-it-forward model, no questions asked.